Beinn Bhuide and a boat ...14th September

The plan …. South Shiel ridge with the Forcan extension.

With the forecast being a nice mixture of high winds and rain and an alternative was chosen – Beinn Bhuide with a speedboat extension.

The Beast picked me and a mtn bike up on the Sunday evening and we headed through the rain up towards Loch Goilhead and his parents place, where his brother Crawford was dog sitting for a week. I was warned “nae sudden movements … the dug disnae like strangers”. I took note, but what damage an elderly scottie dog with an impressive set of piles was going to do, seemed negligible. A quick beer in the house before heading along to the pub to continue old war stories etc …

Next morning was dry to start with. Breakfast and a quick set up adjustment of a borrowed bike for Crawford before the car was loaded up. It was still dry as we trundled along the track from head of Loch Fyne along to Beinn Bhuide. It was even still dry when we left the bikes and started up the hill. Annoyingly, the rain came as soon as we got to the steeper ground. It is debatable whether you were getting wetter through sweating encased in goretex or from the rain. Within minutes of starting, the beast took a nose dive into the mud and came up looking ready for a selection of Al Jolson numbers. Crawford and I liked this a lot.



By the time we were on the summit ridge, it was clear that we would have been dryer sitting in the river. Summit photos were brief and a fast descent back down the ridge into the relative comfort of the corrie for lunch. By the time we were down at the track the sun was out again.

Back at the car we loaded the bikes and headed back to the house for soup and bread … and the second part of the day – the speedboat. The beast squeezed into a kayak to retrieve the boat from its mooring. He continued to contribute the humour of the day by struggling to get out of the kayak – helpful comments concerning his relative width in relation to the kayak were offered from the shore. Nice thing about the West of Scotland humour … the ability to be abusive in the name of fun with no offence being taken.

In the end, he managed to get his arse out the kayak and into the speedboat. With the water bailed out we were soon speeding down the loch – magic fun. The boys showed a great deal of trust and let me drive – even better. We went round into Loch Long for a wee scout about. Briefly thought about having some fun with the good folks who look after Faslane but decided although a wee trip to Cuba appealed in principle, we wouldn’t look good in orange and the food at Guantanamo Bay probably wasn’t that good. We went ashore to have a look at a private hut used by the local outdoor centre – very sadly we found that it had been broken into and much of the contents (including a couple of mattresses) had been left out in the rain to rot. Why do folks do this ?

We were on the way back when it was suggested that jumping from the boat into the sea might be fun. With wetsuits and buoyancy aids on … it seemed a shame not to. Lesson 1 – it is better to jump to the inside of a turning speedboat. That way the distance between you and the prop “increases” as the boat turns away from you. Wonderful thing hindsight !

Showered we headed off for food:

• Hotel 1 – empty
• Hotel 2 – “we don’t serve food on Mondays”
• Hotel 3 – great soup but half portions for the main.

The beast complained bitterly about only getting 14 chips. End result a reduction in the bill but not the point.

Back at the house we debated setting up a website called www.dontvisitscotland.com. The idea would be simple – simply record personal experiences of establishments where poor service / products can be found (the Corrie hotel in Arran would be high on the list but that is another story).

Up early on Tuesday and straight to work. Without doubt the saying of the trip would have to be:

“The worst day in the mountains / rivers / sea … is still better than the best day in the office”